My Mini Van Is A Torture Chamber

I always hear other moms talking about loving the time they spend in the car with their kids. The wonder from their children when they see something new out the window, the wonderful talks they get to have, the one on one time. Not this Mommy!!! My mini van is a mini torture chamber! Today Ethan my 6 year old came with me to run errands. As soon as the car door slammed shut I felt like I was in prison. These are just a few of the statements/questions brought up in the car today:
-Do wolves like people?
-Do scorpions like people?
-Do scorpions have wives?
-If they don't like people how can they have wives?
-Is it because venomous creatures only like other venomous creatures?
-Are spiders wild animals? Because they live in the wild you know. Except their not animals they are arachnids so I guess they can't be wild animals right?
-When I'm a Dad I'm going to move to China to study Kung Fu
-Have you ever been to China?
-When we move again is it going to be to China?
-Can you say any words in Chinese?
-How come I'm not allowed to pee in the yard?
-If you don't want me to pee in the yard you need to make a sign. First you need to cut out a hexagon shape, paint it red, write Stop! Do Not Pee In The Yard and then I'll know not to pee in the yard.
-I'm telling you Mommy the only way I'm going to know not to pee in the yard is if there's a sign
-No really Mommy, we're going to need a sign
-When our dogs die and go to Heaven can we get a cat?
-When our fish die do they go to Heaven too?
-I'd really like to be able to pee in the yard
- What about when I get out of the pool? Can I pee in the yard then? I don't think you want me getting the rugs wet when I get out of the pool, so you should let me pee in the yard.
-You let the puppy's pee in the yard
As we pulled into the grocery store (our 3rd stop) I looked at my handsome little boy and said "Ethan, I swear if you ask me one more question I'm going to punch you in the nose!" He responded by giggling uncontrollably. Sigh... at least one of us was having fun.